Everyday Baby Steps

Here's my 2nd vlog for the Shaklee 180™ blogger program. I hope you enjoy it. I had a little help from Brady, who promises to help me stay motivated for the next four months of my weight loss journey. I need all the motivation I can get when it comes to exercising, and Brady's got lots of ideas for me. Too bad he decided to play shy and wouldn't share them all in this video! But he did give me some encouragment and says he'll exercise with me every day. We'll see...

* This is a sponsored post as part of the Shaklee Corporation blogger program. I have received free products, online support and incentives for participating in the Shaklee Corporation blogger program. My opinions are my own. I am also a Shaklee Independent Distributor.

Wow, it seems like just yesterday I wrote up a Shaklee 180™ 3-week update. I can't believe it's already been two months that I've been on the program. I am so grateful to be given the opportunity to improve my health. In exchange for my trying the program and my honest review, Shaklee is providing me with a six month supply of the Shaklee 180™ Turnaround Program. And it couldn't have come at a better time.

Some of you might remember that I lost about 25 pounds a couple of years ago. Since then, I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues. I had no idea how quickly the weight would come back if I deviated from my healthy eating. Boy, did I ever deviate. I gained back the weight I lost, and added about 20 additional pounds. The excess weight has done nothing to help with my self-esteem and has really placed a burden on any progress toward making changes in my life. I felt so defeated. I stopped caring about my appearance and really gave into my depression. 

I can honestly say that beginning the Shaklee 180™ program has helped me more than anything in terms of my view of myself. Having taken proactive steps toward improving my health and seeing the small changes that have occurred in my body have really been the springboards I've needed toward making overall changes in my life. Knowing that I have the willpower to make good eating choices has led me to feel confident about making choices in other areas. It's a long road. I know that. I also know that getting started is the most difficult step down that road. 

Where I am still lacking motivation, however, is in my activity level. I really hate exercise. Really hate it. With the depression, it's even harder for me to get moving and take the steps needed to get started with any activity. Now that I've gotten two months down on the improved eating habits, I'm ready to throw myself full force into exercising. I have to get ready to be active with my kids this summer. They're a pretty energetic bunch! 

Here's the progress I've made so far in terms of the numbers. Check out the table below. I've lost a total of 16 pounds in two months. Not bad, I'd say. I definitely can see a difference, and I do have more energy already. That's important. A total of 14 inches is gone from my arms, chest, waist, hips and thighs. Yippee! Most I've noticed it in my boobs. What's up with that? My hope is that exercising will help me to lose more inches in my lower body. 

Date Weight Arms Chest Waist Hips Thighs 3/1/13  256 lbs.  14 inches  46 inches  44 inches  53 inches  28 inches 5/1/13  240 lbs.  12 inches  42 inches  40 inches  49 inches  26 inches

Here's a "before" and "after" side profile view. I think there's a noticeable difference. What do you think? I will tell you that I couldn't wear the same outfit because the pants were WAY too big. I'm absolutely ecstatic about this!

So that's my story. I'll be posting a vlog later today talking about the kinds of things I hope to do to motivate myself to exercise. Are there any tips you can give me? I'd really appreciate it. 

* This is a sponsored post as part of the Shaklee Corporation blogger program. I have received free products, online support and incentives for participating in the Shaklee Corporation blogger program. My opinions are my own. I am also a Shaklee Independent Distributor.

I have always been interested in what makes people tick. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to know why people do the things they do, and I've long been affected by the behaviors, moods and attitudes of the people around me. I think that's because I'm a highly sensitive person. Personality type certainly does play a significant role in the way we view the world, in addition to the attitudes and beliefs we hold about society and our fellow citizens, but that's not what I want to focus on in this post. I've been thinking a lot lately about the life events that have made me who I am today. So I thought I'd share a little bit of my history with you. Being the studier of people that I am, I'd love it if you'd share a bit of your story with me, as well. 

Growing Up in the Trailer Park

I was born in a trailer park in central Pennsylvania and grew up there until my family moved to western Pennsylvania my senior year of high school and we got our first house. Saying that makes it seem like we were impoverished and poverty stricken. I don't think we were. My father was a lineman for a telephone company, eventually working his way up to a supervisory position. Therefore, we did see a bit of a change in our lifestyle through the years. We moved from a tiny trailer in the park to a brand new one in a newer section of the trailer park. What's really most significant about growing up where I did is that the trailer park was in a pretty wealthy school district. Therefore, I always had a sense of being "less than" and looked down upon by a number of my peers. To make matters worse, I was a gawky little girl with red hair, freckles and glasses, in addition to being trailer trash amongst the elite. It was a heavy burden to bear for a kid. We bought my school clothes at Hills, while many of my peers in middle and high school were wearing the latest brand name fashions. My theory is that growing up an outcast helped shape my affection for the underdog throughout my life.

high school graduation - I was rockin' the '90's hair, right? Damn, look at those bangs!

Coming into My Own in College

College was an awesome time in my life. Attending Slippery Rock University, I got away from home, a place, I must admit, that did not always provide me with encouragement and support. My college years led to discovery and increased self-esteem. Classes like American National Government and Intro to Women's Studies taught me about new viewpoints and ideas that resonated with me. I learned about a whole different world than the one I had absorbed growing up in my conservative household. College was a time of endless possibilities. I grew and explored, not only through my coursework, but through my interpersonal experiences. I lived in the dorms, encountered people from all over the world, had a crazy-ass roommate (I'm talking about Tricia, in case any of my other college roommates are reading this.), met my first gay and lesbian friends, joined a sorority, went to parties, got busted for underage drinking, lost my virginity, lived in my first apartment, met my future husband (the first one, not the one I have now.) All of that, I would learn later in graduate school, is what is great about college. It's not just the degree, college provides so much more. 

that's me with Vinny at a sorority date party - I'm Facebook friends with him, though I don't know if we'll still be friends if he sees this picture!

Into the Real World

After college graduation, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life, so I did what I knew best and took some more classes. One semester of post baccaulaureate courses, then I enrolled in the Children and Youth Counseling graduate program at SRU. I didn't finish that program, though, because I got married about halfway through and moved to North Carolina where my husband, a dual elementary education/special ed major got a teaching job. Guess who else was offered a teaching job? If you said me, the Spanish/Social Work major who had never taken an education course in her life, you would be correct. How hard could it be, right? I liked kids, and I knew Spanish. Combining two things I really liked should have been an awesome gig. Yeah, sure. It was the scariest damn experience I've EVER had. There I was, Yankee white girl at the ripe old age of 23 who had never lived outside of Pennsylvania, and I was thrown into a classroom in a poor area of the rural South, in one of the district's worst schools. Oh yeah, and I had no idea what the hell I was doing in my job. Let's just say it was rough. 

But I learned so much in the brief time I spent there. I learned about corrupt school systems and inequality. I learned I was tougher than I thought I was. We ended up leaving, not because little white girl who never taught before had a nervous breakdown, but because my husband's school was breaking all kinds of federal special education laws, and he really didn't want to throw away his entire career in the eventuality that the district would get caught and decide to throw him under the bus. I also learned about the potential of kids who are given some encouragement and the resources to succeed. Many of those kids hated that mean Yankee teacher, but there were a few who said they were sorry to see me go because they were afraid they would end up with a long-term sub who didn't even know any Spanish. I wouldn't doubt that they were right. 

We ended up moving back to my then husband's hometown and getting jobs in a nursing home, yet another helping profession. I was surprised to learn that I actually loved that job, especially when I transitioned from my nurse's aid position to working in the activities department. Alas, that job would not be a long-term thing, as I was placed on unemployment due to the liabilities my newly discovered pregnancy might cause the nursing home. It ended up being all right with me in the end. Someone once told me, "Pregnancy is not your friend." That about sums it up. I was glad not to be working through my morning sickness and ridiculous body aches, not to mention my insane mood swings. However, the financial position the decreased salary put us in led to my first experience with any type of assistance. With the arrival of my beautiful bouncing boy also came the WIC vouchers that would allow us to afford his formula. Forget what I said earlier about scary jobs. Ain't nothin' compared to the fear I had of becoming a mother. The fear of breaking that precious little baby was overwhelming, but I eventually settled into the daily routine of baby care, leading to a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. 

Skip ahead a few months. My husband was offered a teaching job in Virginia. We moved there with the baby. We soon learned that school systems in the south leave a lot to be desired, and we moved back north to accept positions as house parents at a residential placement facility for juvenile offenders. One more intimidating experience for me to grow from. I sure did a lot of growing in those years. Being new with absolutely no seniority, we were given the house in the greatest state of disrepair, with the most residents (12 boys, who also happened to have the reputation of being some of the worst behaved due to the lack of structure that was in place before our arrival.Yippee.) But I was always a bit stubborn. The turning point for me was the day my husband and baby boy were both sick, and I had to handle the cottage full of boys all by myself. I went out there in the morning, woke those boys up and introduced them to the new Miss Mary, the one who wasn't taking anyone's shit and who dared them to even try to give her any. Guess what? Not one of those 12 boys even tried. From then on, the intimidation factor was gone, and I was able to really get to know some of those boys and learn from my interactions with them. 

Eventually, I began to feel a bit burned out. It's hard to live at work. We worked 10 day shifts, 16 hours a day. There was very little privacy. Also, a new administration come along with a more "child-centric" philosophy. That philosophy didn't work for me. That place wasn't just my job. It was my home. Not long after we started there, I became pregnant, and my daughter was born in that house (we had our own apartment adjacent to the house the boys lived in.) My husband and I weren't the strictest cottage parents there. I like to think we were pretty middle-of-the-road. But in my home, where I was raising my children, I needed to feel I had more control. 

So we moved on. I went to graduate school to study College Student Personnel. I wanted a job in which I could still help people, but I didn't want something that would burn me out. Working in higher education seemed to be a perfect fit. And it was. After graduating, I got a job as a community college academic adviser and loved it. I worked with students who were living their real lives, while working on their degrees at the same time. I encountered many adult students. As the coordinator of a program for academically at-risk students, I encountered a number of single mothers and students of low socio-economic means. They showed me the resilience of people working toward a dream and just what dedicated people will endure in order to reach their goals. It was an amazing position, and I was honored to receive the "Outstanding Academic Adviser of the Year" award for two consecutive years from the college's students. During my time there, I got separated, divorced, remarried and became pregnant. I was already feeling the stress of not being there for my two kids, so I made the decision to leave the college to pursue freelance writing, a job that would allow me more flexibility for my family. I haven't looked back since. 

all three of my babies

Walking Away With Insight

Whew! I've really written a lot. I've also left out quite a bit. I didn't mention my retail jobs, nor my stints as a mobile therapist and behavior specialist where I was sworn at regularly, had to stop a kid from killing a rooster with a shovel and encountered some of the most chaotic home environments imagineable. What all of these experiences, from growing up kind of poor to obtaining an education to overcoming obstacles to working with marginalized populations, have shown me is that I care about people. Ultimately, despite the frustration people sometimes cause me, I am a people person. Everything I've experienced has shown me that you never know a person's story or what they're dealing with. My own personal story would surprise many. All of these things combined are what fuel my political passions, what make me fight for those society deems "less than." And I'm so very happy to have had each of those experiences, no matter how difficult some may have been at the time. 

So what's your story? Why do you believe the things you do? I want to hear it. This truly is a good exercise in self-reflection, even if you don't want to share. But should you decide to share, feel free to leave a comment with your story or a link to your own blog post. Thanks!

Here's a quick video summary of my first month on the Shaklee 180™ weight loss program. So far I've lost about 10 pounds and a total of 8 inches overall. Not bad for one month, and I'm taking baby steps toward adding exercise to my routine. I'm sure that will make a difference in the progress I see. What I've gained on the program, even in this short amount of time, is well worth the wait and the dedication it will take to reach my ultimate goal. I talk to you about all those gains, including one very unexpected and personal discovery, in the video below. Thanks for sticking with me on this journey!

This is a sponsored post as part of the Shaklee Corporation blogger program. I have received free products, online support and incentives for participating. My opinions are my own. 

People following the weight loss portion fo the Shaklee 180™ Program can expect to lose 1 - 2 pounds per week.

My big kids were off of school on Monday, but my little guy still had preschool. So I decided this time with just my older two was the perfect chance to talk to them about things I felt were important to discuss with them. So while I had them trapped spending quality time with me in the car on the way to going shopping, I decided to bring up a discussion about the topic of privilege. 

About Privilege

Most of us know that "privilege" is a social concept that refers to having advantages in the society in which one lives. There are many kinds of privilege. Perhaps the most dominant and obvious is white privilege. White people in the United States possess a great deal of privilege in areas we may not even consciously be aware of. White people are often privileged i that we don't feel out of place wherever we go. Likely, there will be others who look like us and who are white. White folks aren't often concerned about being distrusted as a shop lifter or someone who may cause harm if we are out walking the streets at night. It's a fact that laws such as stop-and-frisk target people of color. There are so many more examples I could list. In the interest of time, I will simply point you to a quick checklist of white privilege examples, the Wikipedia page on white privilege and a great article on Everyday Feminism that explains how to talk to someone about white privilege. At the end of this last article are links to other informative posts on various kinds of privilege including male privilege, heterosexual privilege, economic privilege, Christian privilege, and even thin privilege. If you don't think you're privileged in any way, I suggest giving these articles a look. 

My Kids' Reactions

Back to my conversation with the kids. I asked them if they thought they were privileged. Their response? Blank stares. They had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. So I gave them a quick definition of privilege as having an unearned advantage in some way and listed some general examples. They gave it a bit of thought and concluded that they really didn't think they were privileged. Imagine my son's surprise when I pointed out that he is probably the most privileged person in the car, above both me and his sister. Now I had them really confused. 

When I told him he was prvileged because he is a white male in America, he seemed to begin to get it. I didn't go into sexual orientation. As far as I know my son is heterosexual, but he's only 14, and I didn't want to place any unnecessary assumptions or pressure on him. So we listed a few ways in which guys may have advantages over girls. He was aware that he didn't have to worry as much about going to parties and being sexually assaulted or taken advantage of when he's older. Both kids were shocked to learn that women make less than men in 2013. They weren't surprised when it came to the conversation of race. They know that minorities, particularly blacks, are sometimes treated unfairly and stereotyped in this country. We've had these kinds of discussions before. But I really thought it was time to talk to them about just how many advantages they have, despite our current financial situation. I mean, could two young adolescents really think that living in a trailer park and receiving food stamps puts us in a place of privilege? 

We talked about education and how they came from an educated family that places a value on learning and is able to provide them with the support and resources to do well in school. I pointed out that if they are ever having trouble in a subject, they can come to me for help. I also reminded my son that even though we don't have a lot of money, we were able to send him on two rather major field trips to Harrisburg and Washington, D.C. This led us to discuss the advantage they have in attending a school that offers such experiences. Both of my kids play instruments, and my son will be in the marching band next year. I told them that some schools have had to cut music programs and couldn't even dream of having field trips to far away places. I explained that schools are partially funded throuugh local property taxes and asked what they thought the difference would be between their school and a school in a poor neighborhood. We may live in a trailer park, but that park is smack dab in the middle of a rather affluent area. The dynamics of this I will save for another day; though it's rather ironic to me that I grew up in exactly the same kind of situation, living in a trailer park and going to school with doctors' and lawyers' kids. But I digress. I explained that less advantaged schools probably wouldn't offer the kinds of extracurricular activities they have available to them. Some schools have nearly empty libraries and outdated textbooks. I then asked them what they wanted to do when they grow up. Both had aspirations that required higher education. Kids in poverty stricken areas or inner city neighborhoods may not even consider that college is a possibility for them. It was a real eye opener for them to realize that they could dream of becoming nearly whatever they want to be. Some kids don't have the confidence in themselves or the support they need to ever have such dreams.

Why It's Important

Our talk didn't end there. We also discussed how women are often objectified. We talked about slut shaming and rape culture. Gay marriage was brought up; both kids think people should be able to marry whomever they choose and are appalled at the idea that anyone would think any different. They get how a gay couple might not feel comfortable showing affection everywhere they go and that they do not possess full civil rights in this country. We even delved into the mindset of what it means to be poor and how the cycle often continues.

The reason I thought it was so important to talk about these things was not so my kids would feel guilty for their privilege or even grateful that they are privileged. They don't need to feel guilty for a societal system they didn't create, but simply showing gratitude for what you haven't earned is not sufficient, either. It's imperative that our kids are aware of privilege so that they can be sensitive to others, so that they can work to stop perpetuating assumptions that are harmful to others, evven if only in their small world. Who knows, though. Maybe one day they can change attitudes on a larger scale. But first they must be made aware.