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An Opinion Editorial By Matt Croyle
So, there’s this saying about knowing the sour before you can appreciate the sweet. I’m not good at paraphrasing, but I’m sure you get the point. After looking at my friends’ Facebook posts on a daily basis, and seeing how miserable most of my younger friends are, I’ve decided to take a bit of my knowledge of the female sex and break things down for them. This editorial could very easily switch genders, and if you feel the need to want to share any bit of it I encourage you to take as much liberty in that department as possible. I’m a straight guy, so this is about girls for me.
I could call this a breakdown, but it’s more designed to be a set of examples of who girls are before they mature enough to actually become women — which in my experience is somewhere around the age of twenty-five. The following examples are not the complex, amazing women that most girls develop into. These examples are the girls you will likely run across while searching for those truly wonderful women out there. And they are out there, but I’m confident you won’t find them nearly as easily as you’ll find these girls. Read on.
These are examples of the girls that I’ve come across in my life, who are considered “red flags” — not because they won’t eventually mature, but because they’re probably not someone who you’ll find meaningful coexistence with before they do.
THE SLUTTY PARTY GIRL
We all know the girl that likes to get her drink on a little too much. She’s the one at the party who is always a little too wild, a little too flirty, and a little too ready to take off her pants. Bottom line on this girl is that drugs and alcohol, more often than not, seem to just go hand-in-hand with sex. Sure she’s a blast to drink with, but she’s always looking for the most fun time she can have — and that’s usually the guy with the biggest sausage or the most money (because she’ll need more alcohol or drugs later) — so, you best be packing a fire hose down there, and have a wallet full of mommy and daddy’s credit cards, or she’s going home with someone else. This girl knows no emotional attachment because she’s constantly hammered. Feelings are drowned by liquid horniness.
THE DADDY’S GIRL
There are always those girls you come across that will constantly compare their current boyfriends with their past boyfriends. Guys having to live up to other guys’ experiences are doomed from the start. Well, The Daddy’s Girl is kind of like that except you have to live up to unattainable expectations that have been planted into her head by her father. Creepy. If a girl is constantly, subconsciously comparing your success — or lack thereof — to her father’s, turn around and run away. Run fast, because this will be something she will do for the rest of the time you are together. It’s not fair to you, and it’s definitely not fair for her to do that to herself.
THE NO SENSE OF SELF GIRL
This is the girl who defines who she is, as an existing human being, by whether or not she’s in a relationship. The “single” status defines her being every waking moment. She obsesses about it, she complains about it, and she longs so much to be in a relationship that she doesn’t even know who she is without one. She needs someone ELSE to define HER. I’m sorry, but if you don’t know who you are, or can’t be happy with yourself being alone, there’s something going wrong up in that noggin. Find a hobby.
THE OVERLY-ATTACHED GIRLFRIEND
Okay. I’m sure you’ve seen her on YouTube, but people like this exist in real-life. She’s super-clingy, and shares the whole “defining who she is” thing with the No Sense of Self Girl. Here’s one that won’t let you out of her sight. Not because she’s psycho, but because she’s REALLY psycho. If you’re lucky enough to find time to be by yourself (to read, work on returning emails, check out some awesome porn sites) it won’t be for very long. This girl has built-in sonar when it comes to finding you, and wonders why she isn’t included in your every waking moment of existence. If you have any sense of individual freedom, this is not who you want to be with. If you’re looking for someone to be up your ass twenty-four seven, she’s your soul-mate .
THE OVERLY-EMOTIONAL TRAIN WRECK
This girl is pretty self-explanatory. She’s the girl constantly in question of whether you actually want to be with her, getting either really sad or really pissed-off if she doesn’t know. You will constantly have to tend to her emotions and reassure her that you want her, or that you’re happy, or that you remember where you were the first time you kissed her. Remember that women are emotional beings, but this girl can’t keep her emotions in check at all — at all. If you make her too upset, she may burn your clothes or break windows in your house. Probably best to steer clear of this one altogether.
THE MANIPULATIVE HOT GIRL
The femme fatale of all girls. She knows how hot she is, and will use it to every advantage she possibly can. Sex is a powerful thing, and if you’re willing to put up with someone taking your pants in the relationship (literally) for a little bit of action (when she feels like it) then she’s your girl. However, you must remember that she will only put up with you as long as she’s getting what she wants. She can get it anywhere else, and she will — along with more pants. Nobody needs a mind-screw like that.
What to do?
The thing about all of these women is that they all exist (in one form or another) in combinations. Some will have aspects of a few of these women, and some may have aspects of all of them. The point is to find one that has the least amount of these qualities. These qualities will kill a man’s soul — not to mention any sense of self-respect.
The point of “pointing out” these traits is not to rag on women, or degrade them, it’s to be aware that there are things that you should and shouldn’t accept when dealing with the opposite sex — especially in dating/marriage. Relationships are a difficult thing, and finding one can be even harder. The point is: don’t give up, shoot for someone you think is out of your league, and don’t let your past relationships dictate your current ones. Happy hunting.
Copyright (C) 2014 Matt Croyle. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of this article, in any form, without permission by the author.
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